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Wednesday, May 26, 2004

CU knows no defeat 

I was just informed that CU rape facilitator Gary Barnett will keep doin' that VooDoo that he do so well [losing football games].

While this may seem like a mistake, consider this: ROTC is housed in the very stadium that CU is regularly humiliated in. Since we are moving to a rape-based military, America's first officially rape-based football team could be a feeder for future military intel gathering. Think, after rape "bootcamp" at CU, they will surely have the forcible orifice penetration skills to ferret-out potential terrorists. While its true that most of the raping the CU Buffs do is directed at women, we can hope "Stiff Fingers" Rumsfeld will approve a box of wigs and a case of Mickey's Malt Liquor to "grease the wheels" when the time comes.

Since these "football players" will now be officially in the ROTC, they can make classes directed at their interests: manufacturing GHB, playing football poorly, and how best to apply Crisco up to your shoulder when fist-f#cking somebody.

CU pays Barnett $1.3 million a year. Maybe we can start co-branding snuff films, to help defray the costs of legal fees and bribes. If Barnett has the foresight to direct his players to kill the girl, think of how much trouble will be avoided. Lord knows he's not going to be helping the team by leading us to victory. Unless, of course, its the victory of shirking the accountability for your own worthless ass.

-paul  12:02 EST | |

About us:

This weblog is an ongoing, if periodic, effort by several friends to stay in touch, in reading material, and in ideas.

Lucky Luciano is a former Italian Stallion real estate hustler and Benedict Arnold CEO turned shady lawyer-to-be. He lives in Denver.

Ben is a Paramedic and would-be philantropist who lives in Denver. He knows everything about nothing.

Fuzzy Dunlop lives in Manhattan. He is more than capable of standing up to the stresses of a high crime urban environment.

Jess is a teacher. But have YOU given her an apple? No, you haven't. You should be ashamed of yourself. This crazy feminist currently rests her copy of Awakening in Jersey City.

Matt is a pariah, iconoclast, and professor of gambling living in Oakland.

Miguel Sanchez is not Lionel Hutz.

Daddy Brooklyn lives in Brooklyn. He hates Republicans, though he wouldn't mind being ensconced in the landed elite of New York City.

Paul just smoked my eyelids and punched my cigarette.

Ziggy Stardust has no past.

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