ustoo Dead

Sites to see:

Almost Essential
From the Left
From the Right
Magazines and Journals
Various Weblogs and Pundits
Think Tanks
Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
Shrill Leftist Garbage


Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Good bye, US economy 

According to the National Guard, 20 oil platforms are "missing". They're pretty big, so its safe to assume they're gone.

While forward prices have been remarkably well-behaved for sweet crude, gasoline is going to hit the roof. It's already over $3/gallon in some places. What does this mean? Moribund consumer spending. Heavy price increases for anything that doesn't naturally occur within walking distance of where you live. Bankrupt school districts and police departments. Can you hear it now? "We've got a bank robbery and hostage situation in progress. All units within walking distance respond".

Ah well. Like a wise rapper once said "I got guns".

I tip my hat to the wisdom of dearly departed Ronald Reagan, who put the kibosh to all that "energy conservation" hippy fag shit. Big up to all the sessions of congress that kept easing fuel efficiency standards so some fat white suburban motherfucker could make up for his tiny dick with a huge truck.

-Miguel Sanchez  22:23 EST | |

Rev. Phelps loves terrorists, hot gay sex 

Rev. Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas. This name should ring a bell. He's the guy in the bathroom stall next to you, right now. He's saying "psst! Hey! I suck dick for free! My name is Rev. Fred Phelps! Doesn't that get you hott? I'm so horny!"

No longer content to spit on the graves of mere civilians and domestic torture victims like Matt Shepard, or simply publicly thank God for the tsunami because it killed so many "wicked fagloving Swedes", he's kicking it up a notch. And, hopefully, this will finally get him the curbing he so richly deserves to send him on his way to hell.

Rev. Phelps is rooting for the insurgents. He's glad U.S. soldiers are dying. He's going to their funerals to tell their families so. So unlike his barely concealed love of hot cocks, Phelps has explicitly said that insurgents (still classified by the White House as terrorists) are doing God's work. Say's God's killing U.S. soldiers for defending a country that has so many fags. This sounds like treason to me.

Supposedly, the cops have had to stand in between Phelps and his followers to prevent them from being torn to shreds. What a waste of tax payer dollars.

On a personal note, these "people" were at the Columbine Memorial. I started walking briskly toward them with ill intent, but my treacherous Dad tackled me, saying "this is not the time". I would like to say to all the bereaved friends and families who have this monster visit a funeral they are at: this is the time. This is the time.

-Miguel Sanchez  10:49 EST | |

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Suge Knight is Going to Kill Someone 

Friday, August 26, 2005

Miguel Sanchez: World's greatest linguistic innovator 

So the phrase "No Game Syndrome" is sweeping through our nation's capital like wildfire. All thanks to me. Me! Ah hahahah!

Now, since the English language has done so much for me, I am going to start giving back. But because I am greedy and self-important I demand all credit, money, and reproduction rights to the above and following phrases. I will likely try to create a cafe press account where I can sell shirts emblazon with the following phrases some time this weekend. All proceeds go to me. I'll buy any poster here a beer if I can actually sell one. Tell your friends.

"The Invisible Hand is Giving me the Finger"

"Life is a Sexually Transmitted Disease"

"No Game Sydrome: The Silent Killer"

more to follow.

-Miguel Sanchez  11:40 EST | |

Fafblog is on fire 

I stopped reading fafblog for a while because, well, they just weren't updating it often enough. (*ahem*) Anyway, there are a couple of particularly awesome posts of late, one being August 22nd: "The Great Compromise" and near the bottom of this page "How to Tell How Gay your Gay Son Is." Excerpt:

Casually ask your son at dinner, "So, ever have sex with a woman?" If he appears uncomfortable, he's gay. Non-gays like sex with women.

-Miguel Sanchez  10:58 EST | |

The Wise Ways of the State of Hawaii 

What's the best way to run out of gas? Hawaii has the answer! Cap the price for gasoline! WhOOOO! Let's hope this idea catches on everywhere I don't live, so that in a rush to make some money (instead of the the far less popular no money) oil companies redirect crude to where I live. According to the local paper, the law allowing the PUC of Hawaii to cap gas prices was created last year, because they thought it "unfair" that gas cost more than it does on the mainland.

A note to Hawaiians: you live in the middle of the ocean. "Oil" has to be "shipped" to "Hawaii" and it is "much farther away" from other markets. Also (contrarians may be thinking that ships on the way to the mainland U.S. could easily stop in Hawaii), "real estate" is more "expensive" and "limited" for numerous "reasons" limiting the capacity for "refinement".

No word yet on the poi-and-pineapple fuelled car market rollout date. And if you're wondering, yes, I do have a grudge against Hawaii.

-Miguel Sanchez  10:20 EST | |

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

I think everything will work out 

So I think I've remediated things by adding some math courses. Thanks to everyone who offered advice.

On the subject of the Death of the Blog: it's been a freakin' slow couple of weeks, news-wise. Since all ustoo posters are intellectuals of the most rarefied variety, we are not content to simply make up news like the lazy and inbred MSM. What would you rather have? A couple of weeks with no updates, or a cavalcade of crap about that girl in Aruba, or the best deals on strawberries, or dogs eating ice cream cones, etc, etc?

Keep your fingers crossed for some news items that will leave me foaming at the mouth, so I can emote in my typically intemperate manner.

-Miguel Sanchez  11:33 EST | |

Sunday, August 21, 2005

I need a small amount of advice 

I am starting to have the sinking feeling that my grad program is not what I hoped it would be.

The rigor of two major courses, Econometrics (first passage: "this book is design to give students without a background in calculus or linear algebra an introduction to econometric methods") and Microeconomic Theory (first two weeks: partial derivatives) look to be about the same as the courses I took as an undergrad. When I met with the grad advisor prior to my trip, he waved Mathematical Economics saying "if you've already taken calc 3 and linear algebra, you'll be bored out of your mind in this course".

So here is the crux of my problem: if I'm not learning a lot, what is the point? What is my opportunity cost here? Clearly I didn't set the job market on fire, so if I withdrawal, I will have nothing to do as far as I can tell. It will be a major pain in the ass to withdrawal, and the program takes a year so at worst I've lost a year (and a not insubstantial amount of money). I will gain a credential, but what is the degree really worth it if I don't gain many more skills and it's from UCD?

I probably should have looked into these books before I left. I could have cancelled my trip (different from the one poster Paul mentioned a few weeks ago, obviously [just a note to conspiracy nuts]) and would have had more time to sort this out. Maybe I'm just antsy after my trip, being back in Denver and all that goes with that. The first day of classes is tomorrow. I'll update this on Wednesday.

So, to all of you who have enjoyed my hilarious posting, please offer me your sage-like wisdom. Especially those readers who don't generally comment. Or else depressive Miguel might return, and you know the quality of the blogging that results from that: suck city.

-Miguel Sanchez  23:36 EST | |

Friday, August 12, 2005

To The College Board: Suck It 

I just recieived word that I got an A in Calc 3. According to fasicst pigs The College Board, makers of the SAT test, this is impossible, as I got a very humble 500 on the math section.

"Oh, but Miguel, our test is a good predictor of success," says The College Board.

"STFU, you god-hating vampires," says Miguel.

-Miguel Sanchez  10:50 EST | |

Thursday, August 04, 2005

God Bless and Keep Chief Justice Rehnquist 

Why would a man who is clearly dying continue on in his post at the supreme court? I believe that Rehnquist doesn't like Bush, and like the fictional justice in "The Pelican Brief", is holding on to life to prevent Bush from filling his seat. Why else would he continue on? Why wouldn't he retire like his class make Sandra Day O'Conner?

He's trying as hard as he can to stay alive, and on the job. Most people in his condition are able to rest in (relative) comfort as they await the inevitable. He chooses not to. Whatever you think of his jurisprudence, that he would give of himself for his country until the bitter end to prevent Bush from appointing another justice is heroic.

And yes, I do know he decided wrongly with regard to the recount thing. We all make mistakes.

-Miguel Sanchez  23:53 EST | |

About us:

This weblog is an ongoing, if periodic, effort by several friends to stay in touch, in reading material, and in ideas.

Lucky Luciano is a former Italian Stallion real estate hustler and Benedict Arnold CEO turned shady lawyer-to-be. He lives in Denver.

Ben is a Paramedic and would-be philantropist who lives in Denver. He knows everything about nothing.

Fuzzy Dunlop lives in Manhattan. He is more than capable of standing up to the stresses of a high crime urban environment.

Jess is a teacher. But have YOU given her an apple? No, you haven't. You should be ashamed of yourself. This crazy feminist currently rests her copy of Awakening in Jersey City.

Matt is a pariah, iconoclast, and professor of gambling living in Oakland.

Miguel Sanchez is not Lionel Hutz.

Daddy Brooklyn lives in Brooklyn. He hates Republicans, though he wouldn't mind being ensconced in the landed elite of New York City.

Paul just smoked my eyelids and punched my cigarette.

Ziggy Stardust has no past.

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