ustoo Dead

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Saturday, October 08, 2005

Best "Missed Connection" Ever 

Oh, how I love Best-of-Craigslist:

As fate and a juror summons would have it, you entered my life. I was juror #4 at your 2 day trial for drug possession, assault and battery, and resisting arrest at Circuit Court at 26th & California. Unfortunately, I like "bad girls". I am afflicted with "opposites attract" syndrome in the worst way. The mere mention of "26th & California" or that late night call from a raspy, but lovely voice saying, "Hey baby, I'm in jail" warms my heart and brings back fond memories.

I was so captivated by your profile that I could hardly pay attention to what was said; evidence this or that, blah, blah, blah. I love the Snoopy, butterfly, and bunny tattoos on your neck and arms. You had a cute snarl for each witness. As hard as I tried, there was no swaying the verdicts in your favor because lets face it, you were guilty as hell!

Give me a shout out in 2 to 4 years...depending on good behavior. I will assume it's the latter based on your tantrum and the sucker punch to your lawyer. I'll look out for your release date!!!

Good luck and be good,
Juror#4

-Ziggy Stardust  15:23 EST | |

About us:

This weblog is an ongoing, if periodic, effort by several friends to stay in touch, in reading material, and in ideas.

Lucky Luciano is a former Italian Stallion real estate hustler and Benedict Arnold CEO turned shady lawyer-to-be. He lives in Denver.

Ben is a Paramedic and would-be philantropist who lives in Denver. He knows everything about nothing.

Fuzzy Dunlop lives in Manhattan. He is more than capable of standing up to the stresses of a high crime urban environment.

Jess is a teacher. But have YOU given her an apple? No, you haven't. You should be ashamed of yourself. This crazy feminist currently rests her copy of Awakening in Jersey City.

Matt is a pariah, iconoclast, and professor of gambling living in Oakland.

Miguel Sanchez is not Lionel Hutz.

Daddy Brooklyn lives in Brooklyn. He hates Republicans, though he wouldn't mind being ensconced in the landed elite of New York City.

Paul just smoked my eyelids and punched my cigarette.

Ziggy Stardust has no past.

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