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Sunday, October 16, 2005

I am totally stoked on the bird flu 

Ever since I first took calculus, I have been deeply depressed. Why? Newton invented calculus at 23. I have made no such contribution to world history, and I am 25.

What's Newton got that I don't? I stuck a needle in my eye to see what would happen. I stared at the sun for 10 minutes. I am a shameless self-promoter. I never get tired or pointing out how smart I am. What am I lacking?! Then it hit me.

There hasn't been a massive world-wide plague!! When Newton thought up calculus, he was shut up on a farm in northern England. Oxford had closed on account of the black plague. A massive pandemic is my golden ticket!

Once this bird flu hits, I will finally have my shot at greatness! So Rouche, keep a lid on that Tamiflu! Asia, keep up your piss-poor farming practices! I have a new branch of math to invent.

-Miguel Sanchez  13:42 EST | |

About us:

This weblog is an ongoing, if periodic, effort by several friends to stay in touch, in reading material, and in ideas.

Lucky Luciano is a former Italian Stallion real estate hustler and Benedict Arnold CEO turned shady lawyer-to-be. He lives in Denver.

Ben is a Paramedic and would-be philantropist who lives in Denver. He knows everything about nothing.

Fuzzy Dunlop lives in Manhattan. He is more than capable of standing up to the stresses of a high crime urban environment.

Jess is a teacher. But have YOU given her an apple? No, you haven't. You should be ashamed of yourself. This crazy feminist currently rests her copy of Awakening in Jersey City.

Matt is a pariah, iconoclast, and professor of gambling living in Oakland.

Miguel Sanchez is not Lionel Hutz.

Daddy Brooklyn lives in Brooklyn. He hates Republicans, though he wouldn't mind being ensconced in the landed elite of New York City.

Paul just smoked my eyelids and punched my cigarette.

Ziggy Stardust has no past.

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