ustoo Dead

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Monday, October 31, 2005

Quick tips on NGS 

Everywhere I go, I get slandered (libeled), I hear words I never heard in the Bible. But I'm trying to keep my customers satisfied. Toward that end, here are some quick tips for those who suffer from NGS.

-"Hello" is not a pick-up line, even when joined with a blank stare! This may blow your mind. However, if this is all you got in your bad of tricks, expect your mind to be the only thing blown.

-Internet flirting: don't do it. Listen to Otto Von Bismarck:




















Thanks, Otto! You see, the internet is like Las Vegas. It's got a lot of flashing colors. And boobs. And rigged games of chance. And for the most part, what happens on the internet stays on the internet.

-Not having a clear strategy in mind. "If you aim for nothing you will hit it". I may have read that on a poster. Or in "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People". Remember, the only habit you'll have is "sharpening the saw" if you don't have clearly thought-out goals.

-Blogging. If you blog too much, you will need your driver's license to look up your gender. Mine says "V". I am not sure what that means. In any case, anything you put on the internet is rife for misinterpretation. So any of you out there trying to interpret this, don't.

I hope you have enjoyed these brief tips. I know they have delayed my homework for 20 minutes, so they have served their purpose. Please send your tales of NGS to joblesskerrystaffer@gmail.com . I know I will have more homework to avoid in the near future.

-Miguel Sanchez  12:46 EST | |

About us:

This weblog is an ongoing, if periodic, effort by several friends to stay in touch, in reading material, and in ideas.

Lucky Luciano is a former Italian Stallion real estate hustler and Benedict Arnold CEO turned shady lawyer-to-be. He lives in Denver.

Ben is a Paramedic and would-be philantropist who lives in Denver. He knows everything about nothing.

Fuzzy Dunlop lives in Manhattan. He is more than capable of standing up to the stresses of a high crime urban environment.

Jess is a teacher. But have YOU given her an apple? No, you haven't. You should be ashamed of yourself. This crazy feminist currently rests her copy of Awakening in Jersey City.

Matt is a pariah, iconoclast, and professor of gambling living in Oakland.

Miguel Sanchez is not Lionel Hutz.

Daddy Brooklyn lives in Brooklyn. He hates Republicans, though he wouldn't mind being ensconced in the landed elite of New York City.

Paul just smoked my eyelids and punched my cigarette.

Ziggy Stardust has no past.

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