In addition to my semi-regular blog posts "Bibliophobe", in which I brag about my prodigious reading, I will be embarking on a new blog adventure of breath-taking grandeur and pretense!
Last night I acquired a copy of Richard Burton's Arabian Nights
. It is my intention to blog my way through it.
The story begins with an extreme take on the treachery of women and blacks. Two brothers, both kings, have their marriage beds befouled by wives who sleep with slaves. First the younger and then the elder become aware of the infidelity of their households. After the elder gives the younger a pep talk on the merits of having killed his wife, they set out to investigate if this behavior is universal among women (they suspect it is).
Shortly into their journey, they come across an ifrit. A dedicated family man, this ifrit keeps his wife at the bottom of the ocean in a locked casket during the day to make sure she ain't spreading it all over town. While the Djinn sleeps, his wife spies the two kings. With the natural tone of a Cinemax late night movie, she demands they have sex with her. After some debate, the brothers double-team her and she exclaims "Well Done!" (no shit!). She reveals that she has been with more than 500 kings. This not only explains the red bumps, but the fact that all women are sluts. The kings return to their kingdoms.
The natural solution, of course, is for the elder King to take a virgin at night as his wife and execute her the next day. This continues for some time, until his Vizer's daughters are among the few virgins left. Shaharazad tells her father she wants to marry the king. The Vizer, who educated his daughters to be exceedingly wise is upset. After a story about the value of wife-beating to long term happiness, he sends her to the palace against his wishes.
After the King passes her "maidenhead", she tells him a story. And thus the nights begin.
-Miguel Sanchez 12:39 EST |